


Trashy Dragon Sex

by Evitcani



Series: My Friend's Trash [2]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Crack, Don't Judge Me, Fluff, Gilmore is a dragon, I WANTED SOMETHING GOOD AND PURE, Other, Written in an Hour, the title is misleading, there's no sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-06
Updated: 2016-10-06
Packaged: 2018-08-19 19:57:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8222990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evitcani/pseuds/Evitcani
Summary: Another crack pairing from my truly lovely friend who requested J'mon/Gilmore with Gilmore as a silver dragon. I take no responsibility for this.SPOILERS: It doesn't even have sex because I don't write smut.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Excuse any typos. Written in under an hour for a challenge.

Once Vox Machina had restored some kind of order to the land, Shaun Gilmore had decided to open up his shops again. He never felt as if he was a hero or that he had played a large part in those final moments that swept peace across the ruined cities, but some regarded him as such. Certainly, it had boosted his sales and, for that, he was happy.

What he wasn't entirely happy about was being in his dragon form for the first time in decades, silver tail swishing back and forth. He kept nervously touching the corner of the bowl of wine with one claw and letting it tip side to side. It was getting late and his date hadn't showed up. Gilmore was starting to think his date would never show up and Vax had lied about the other dragon's interest. He wondered, briefly, back to how this began.

Of course, there was always that stirring in his heart that he hadn't quite done enough. This had turned into a restlessness that was not alleviated watching Vax and Keyleth hold hands when they came into his shop. It wasn't that he was jealous of Keyleth, far from it, he was extraordinarily happy that his friends had found love. No, he was jealous of their happiness. It made him drum his fingers on the counter and become slowly more rude to the friends he least wanted to alienate. 

It hadn't taken long for Vax to take him aside with puppy-dog eyes and the way he asked "Are you hurting because of me?" without ever really asking. "Gilmore, can we talk?" 

Shaun had paused in drumming his fingers and slamming potion bottles around, putting them onto the ground to finish organizing later. "We can speak in my office," he sighed, before pushing past the beaded curtains that sectioned off the rooms and sitting it his desk, tracing the grain of the wooden top before meeting Vax's eyes. 

It didn't take their conversation long to turn from Gilmore's restlessness in the face of Vax and Keyleth's relationship to deeper secrets he hadn't shared before. That he knew it would never work out with Vax because he was a dragon and meeting other dragons wasn't exactly easy. While momentarily startled by the revelation, Vax hadn't seemed too surprised. Gilmore had been pleased he didn't need to explain further, but his brief moment of relaxation at having gotten it off his chest quickly turned to worry as Vax began talking about blind dates.

Gilmore tried to protest, but it became clear he was no longer really in the driver seat. 

That was why he was curled in a lair having been decorated with garlands of flowers and illusions to make it grand and pretty, done by Vox Machina who really had better things to do with their time than set up an old dragon. He was only partially suspicious that they were probably hiding behind one of the curtains and watching the whole thing. 

Then, he heard it. _Wumpf, wumpf, wumpf._ The sound of a large creature on the air. He tried not to let his hopes up as he turned towards the cave entrance and saw a brass dragon touching it's claws on the marble floor. It paused at the gouges it left in its landing and snorted, tossing its head. 

At least, Gilmore thought to himself, it was a dragon as old himself and not some young wyrmling like he feared. 

"I was worried when humans set me up on a blind date, you would be too young to even consider," the other dragon said by way of greeting. Gilmore laughed in response. At least they shared a distrust in humanoids to understand that not every dragon is compatible. 

"I was thinking the same," Gilmore replied, finding it almost tricky to return to his Draconic tongue after hardly even thinking in it for so long. "My name is Shaun Gilmore. I'm guessing we share a mutual friendship with Vox Machina." The other dragon bobbed its head by way of agreeing and they both sat there in an awkward silence. 

The brass dragon broke it by replying once it neared the dais of meats and wine, laughing as it looked over the dishes, "I am J'mon Sa Ord, ruler of Ank'Harel." Another period of awkwardness stretched before them and Gilmore thought it wouldn't hurt to start drinking, dipping his head to the bowls of wine. This was why he had never found a mate.

J'mon watched Gilmore as he did so. "I'm not sure we could ever be mates," they said passively. Gilmore winced, guessing he'd already been found wanting. "I'm too busy protecting my city. Yet, it's been a long time since I've had a fun night with another dragon. We should feast and see where it goes," Gilmore looked up in time to see the brass dragon grinning at him mischievously. He was stunned for a moment. Had he just been propositioned? 

Then, he started laughing. It didn't take them long to turn laughter into talking. About Gilmore trying to face Thordax as a human and J'mon's valiant defeat of him centuries earlier, the humans they had loved and lost over the years, their mutual preference for the short lived races before other dragons. J'mon made the first move once the fires had burned low and the feast was long gone, nuzzling along Gilmore's silver neck. Their tails curled into each other and the night was spent in each other's hold. 

When dawn came, Gilmore wasn't surprised to see the brass dragon fiery in the sunrise's light, using the water in a pool to clean. Gilmore just watched them for a while before raising his head and speaking, "We should do this again sometime." 

J'mon turned and smiled, "Maybe somewhere a little more comfortable. I'll send you something in the mail, visit me in Ank'Harel at the palace. You will always be welcome as my friend. Just, don't bring Vox Machina, they meddle a bit too much and seem a little too curious about how dragons mate for my tastes." 

Gilmore laughed and grinned. His heart was no longer senselessly restless. The heart wants what the heart wants, after all.


End file.
